Is Marrige The Ultimate Goal

I initially didn’t want to post about such serious issues but I couldn’t stop the urge to post this.

I recently read this article by Toolz, and wanted to share it with you guys. I agree completely with her, women all over the world are feeling the pressure from society to be married or at least be involved (leaning towards marriage) with a “potential husband” once they reach a certain age; my Namibian society is no different. 

Most people (predominantly men) find it hard to believe that a 26 plus year old woman is single; they tend to believe something is off beam with you and/or labeled as too “choosy”, I particularly try not to get into such debates nor try to validate the reasons for my relationship/marital status as I might come off as a female chauvinist. I’m not against marriage, if you met your soul-mate at an early age (out of school/university) than to God be the Glory, but most of the time circumstance are really out your control and if you happen to be at that particular "age" and are starting feel the pressure, my advice to you is that don’t give into these demands, there is no need to rush into marriage or into a very detrimental relationship just to validate yourself as a woman or in order to satisfy society or family. It’s still ok to take your time to prepare yourself emotionally and psychologically while you wait for the right one, not ‘Mr Perfect’ (because he most likely doesn’t exist) but ‘Mr Right for You’

By Toolz

I was at a wedding recently and got talking to a friend of a friend, and the inevitable question about my marital status came up. ‘I’m not married’ I said. He seemed to be rather surprised, and said ‘It’s weird because when I see a beautiful girl like you that’s single I sometimes think- what’s wrong with her, why hasn’t she been scooped up?’. I had to mentally restrain myself from head-butting him right in the middle of the wedding! After several calming breaths, I explained to him that I wasn’t married because I hadn’t found the right one yet, and I’d rather take my time and be happily married than marry in a hurry and be in a marital prison. In spite of my better judgment we talked some more and he agreed with my opinion, and I realized that he actually didn’t mean it in a bad way. Sadly he’s not alone with his reasoning. Several times I have overheard conversations where no matter how accomplished a woman is, the fact that she may be over 25 and unmarried means there’s something seriously wrong with her. Till this day I really struggle to understand that concept.

I’m sure we can all recall a conversation (or two) we’ve had or overheard where a certain woman’s achievements have been discussed, and then someone says ‘but she’s not married’ and then you hear the ‘eyaas’ etc. I get it every now and then; it starts off with ‘you’ve done well in your career, but you better go and get married’ as though getting married is the ultimate goal in my life! Don’t get me wrong, a lot of people that know me will tell you that I am very much the hopeless romantic, and getting married is definitely part of my plans, but is it the ultimate goal? No! The ‘you better go and get married’ speeches infuriate me, and I so want to scream ‘is that the only reason I’ve been put on this earth?!!’. Surely in terms of achievements a woman can have in her life, ‘getting married’ should not be the number 1 goal? It is definitely one of the important ones for me, but the main one? Naahh.

Read full article here

Thanks for reading.

Would love to hear your thoughts on the matter?