Silver Lining

Hugging

By Lapaka

Hugging has always been an awkward thing for me and I tried to avoid them as much as possible. I guess one of the reasons I have avoided them was due to what someone close to me once told me, that I give the weirdest hugs ever. That person was probably just joking but the power I gave those few words closed the door to one of the most amazing intimate human acts. The perfectionist in me decided I'm going to avoid hugs like a plague which I have successfully done for the past 7 to 8 years. Unfortunately I couldn't really avoid them all together so I would usually have a hug quota for the year which was about four hugs per year. However the most amazing thing happened to me a few weeks ago.

I was standing in a queue in a supermarket. I met someone I have not seen in over 10 years, we happened to be just Facebook friends because we are from the same town and we went to the same primary school. I greeted him and he replied with stretched out arms and embraced me in a hug, in my head I was thinking one to go three more for the year left. Usually my hugs lasted less then two seconds (that's how fast I want it to end). This one was different, two seconds went by and in my head I was thinking what the…??  I was not used to what was happening, the guy wouldn't let go, so I decided not to push him away but to just let the hug run it's course. Than I moved from being uncomfortable to feeling comfortable and safe in an instant (how that happened I do not know). Finally for the first time in my life I understood why people give each other hugs. Without words spoken I felt a deep sense of love, support and kindness.

I tend to think that perhaps the one of the reasons I find hugging weird simply intimacy it provides, the kind of intimacy I wasn't comfortable with and wasn't sure how to handle.

Well on that day I remember my mind being preoccupied by many things, I run into the shop with the intention to grab one item and rushing back home, however after that hug I felt at peace, it felt like all the troubles I had at that moment had miraculously disappeared and started to look insignificant, much smaller then I had originally thought. It was one of the most amazing hugging experiences (if u can call it that) I have ever had, I can still feel that positive energy just thinking about it. I have thus decided to ditch my 'hug quota' and start giving my weird hugs as they will come from a place of love, if I can make one person feel the way that hug left me feeling than I would have done my part. 

Research has shown that deep hugs have the following benefits:

1. The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.
2. Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels, which heal feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.
3. Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one's serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.
4. Hugs strengthen the immune system.
5. Hugging boosts self-esteem.
6. Hugging relaxes muscles. Hugs release tension in the body. Hugs can take away pain; they soothe aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.
7. Hugs balance out the nervous system. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance.
8. Hugs teach us how to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.
9. Hugs are so much like meditation and laughter. They teach us to let go and be present in the moment. They encourage us to flow with the energy of life. Hugs get you out of your circular thinking patterns and connect you with your heart and your feelings and your breath.
10. The energy exchange between the people hugging is an investment in the relationship.

So if you are like me and get weirded out by hugs, think of those benefits before pulling away from that warm embrace.

Blessed Wednesday 

African Prints

Went to Ghana almost a month ago (will post about it later). And I fell in love with everything African. And if course I came back with lots of fabrics. Like who goes to the meca of African Fabrics and doesn't come with any right? I almost went nuts choosing which to buy. Too many options.. So busy looking for ideas of what to make with them. :)

National Day of Prayer

Passion killing has been on an increase in our country, I have written about it before here. 

Today 06 March 2014, The Government of the Republic of Namibia has declared the day as a National Day of Prayer on Gender Based Violence country wide. All religious denominations throughout the country are invited to take part in the prayer. National Day of Prayer is being held all over the country in all the 14 regions.

In Windhoek, the National Day of Prayer will be held at the Sam Nujoma Stadium in Katutura at 10H00 and His Excellency Hifikepunye Pohamba, President of the Republic of Namibia will address the nation.  

In the past months there has been an increasing incidents of Gender Based Violence (Passion Killings) including murder and rape reported in the country and the Government decided to declare a National Day of Prayer to ask for divine intervention on Gender Based Violence in the country.

This mass gathering is history in the making for Namibia, for the first time in our history (at least that I can remember) were people from different religious denominations are gathering, sitting and praying together for a common goal. The prayer section in Windhoek will host an Iman of Muslim Faith, a Pastor of Christian and a Rabbi of Jewish faith. At 13h00 Bells will ring in all Churches and Mosques through out the country.  

The National day of Prayer was been a controversial topic, some debating whether or not payer will decrease the killings particularly against women in this country (there are some male victims too), but one can only pray and have faith that God will listen to our prayers and a few hearts will be changed in the process.  

May all those that lost their lives rest in peace and their families be comforted by the grave of God.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land." 2nd Chronicles 7:14

Stretch Your Mind

I couldn't help but share…  Source

By Fola Daniel Adelesi

Take a good look at the rubber band and imagine what happens to it when it is stretched. Maybe the women will understand better because they use it a lot for their hair. Just pick anyone and stretch it. When you do that the first time, it will try to return to its original position. When you repeat the process, the rubber will still try to return to its position. After a while, through consistent use, it becomes soft and it is enlarged. It also becomes difficult for the rubber to return to its original position. At that point, a little stretch might just break it.

Many of us need to stretch our minds like those rubbers. Those minds are too small to process the information that we need to get us to where we are going in life. If you do not stretch your mind it will not get you anywhere in life. There are so many things you picked up while you were growing that you no longer need for where you are going to. If you are not ready to unlearn those things, you will try to take them along with you and they will never help.

It is only with a stretched mind that someone will create ideas, not have the resources, but will keep believing. It is a stretched mind that lets him talk to people to convince them about his or her dreams, and there will be results at the end of the day. It is only a stretched mind that can negotiate anything that also seems impossible. When a mind is not stretched, some ideas strike you and you kill them even before they land properly.

I walk on the streets and see the things that are happening, it is always clear that much more than what people think is the problem, there is the bigger problem of the mind. Many of us think that the problem of a country like Nigeria today is just corruption. You will be shocked, if at the end of today corruption is wiped out, to see that we still have many more problems to deal with and they have nothing to do with stealing or being corrupt!

When people have a mind that has been stretched, they will do things differently and will also be easier to lead. When the leaders of a nation also have a stretched mind, they will find it easy to proffer solutions to the myriads of problems that the country has. It is because so many leaders do not have a stretched mind that they travel abroad and they cannot come back home to do simple carbon copy or copy and paste! Do you realize that we would have praised our leaders if the only thing they do in this country is to copy and paste the good things they see in other countries? Let me also add that the problem is not only with leaders but with followers as well.

 A mind that is not stretched will see too many problems to deal with. The things that are not even the problems will also be considered as the problems. You will fight the people you are not supposed to fight, and stay away from things that you are not supposed to stay away from. At a point, someone asked us in a meeting to imagine that all the money in the world was gathered in one place. They have collected the money from the rich people and from the poor people. Now everyone has become the same and are to be given the same amount of money. He went further to say that it will only take a short while before the rich become rich again and the poor people become poor again. Why is that? It is because everything begins and ends in the mind.

  

There are those who can do a lot more but are not doing a quarter of what they can do because they have refused to stretch their minds. As a matter of fact, a mind that refuses to stretch will soon become a misfit. When other people who have stretched their minds start talking, the un-stretched mind sounds absurd among them. He or she says things and they begin to wonder what century this person lives in or where in the world he came from.

You need to know that to refuse to stretch your mind is to deny yourself of how much you can get out of life. That is because someone who is probably born to be CEO of a multinational company might just die as a gate keeper. Another person who is supposed to become an international professor might simply remain a school teacher who is poorly paid. That world acclaimed instrumentalist predestined before birth might just remain the second choice instrumentalist in a local assembly of the church choir!

Until you stretch your mind, you will never know how far you can go. So how can you stretch your mind? My suggestions are:

• Relate with bright minds to learn rather than proving you know something.
• Go out. Visit nice places, sit down there and imagine yourself doing business with people there. I promise no one will be bold to send you out. If they ask what you are doing there, tell them you are waiting for a client. When you are tired of enjoying the environment tell them your client changed his mind.
• Read the biographies of great people and see what they did to become great. Reading stretches your mind and it never returns it to its original state.
• If you have the means, you can travel abroad once in a while to see how things are done in other countries. It will greatly help your mind. I am not saying your mind can’t stretch without going abroad but it does help.
• Have a really big vision. A vision is something that will keep stretching your mind. When you think you are done with a part, another one shows up.

I will like to see you all operate with a really stretched mind. I should also add that you will get to a level in life when people pay you for your stretched mind, not necessarily as a speaker, but because they value your insight! A stretched mind is like an irresistible fine wine or like putting all the beauty in the world on one woman so go on and stretch your mind!

Cioa Amigos 

feliz quinta-feira 

Love Anyways

Today I want to share a Prayer. Have a blessed week 


My prayer:
Wonderful Father. I have been fighting depression all day and truth is I am losing the battle. My life is blessed and wonderful. I have no right to be feeling like this. You have been so generous to me, I should be on my knees thanking you but I am simply not there today. 

God, I am sorry that I can't do what I know I should. But, this is where I am at today. A mess. Thank you for loving me anyway.

What God Said Today:
My sweet daughter. What has brought  you to this place? What has you feeling like you are less than you should be? 

You are trying to live up to expectations that are not from me. I have no expectations of you other than to be who you are and to love. 

You were hearing my voice tonight. When in doubt, love anyway. When you are afraid that you are doing the wrong thing, love anyway. When you are afraid you are taking the wrong path, love anyway. When you see that your life is less than what you want it to be, love anyway. 

I really have the one job for you, love anyway. I will, I PROMISE, I WILL take care of everything else. I WILL. You just go ahead and love anyway

Monday Quote

Invent and Brand Yourself

Caption: I didn't write this.. Source 

Early twentieth-century French novelist, Marcel Proust, famously wrote: “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes”. To see with new eyes, you need to begin with introspection. The ultimate result of introspection is change – change of the self.

Therefore, if Proust´s sentiments are to be applied to the world of personal marketing, it is more important for an individual´s brand to be constantly evolving than for the individual to venture farther and farther afield – although the bearing of one on the other is impossible to ignore.

If you feel like your personal brand is in dire need of a face-lift, consider the following simple principles:

The brand represents the promise behind the brand.

For personal branding, you have to ask yourself: “what do I promise?”

What are the things that you are willing to personally guarantee? This is something which you will go the extra mile to be known for – identify this and make sure your brand communicates this clearly.

In defining your brand promise, you must ask yourself some important questions:

1. What are my goals for next year?
   
   When looking at your goals for a branding purpose, you have to look outside of yourself and identify how you want to influence others, including your family, community, customers, employees, organisation and the world at large. By contextualising your goals, you start defining a direction in which to channel your energy. Energy that remains locked up inside of you turns into frustration – so start exploring where you want to put it.

2. What message do I want to deliver in my environment to advance my goals?
   
   Whatever your goals, you need to communicate and back them up to those around you. If, for example, you are studying in order to get a new job or promotion, make sure that you are communicating this to the right people in the workplace. Make sure that the way in which you represent yourself to others complements the goals you want to achieve. Do you come across as a go-getter who will take things to the next level or is a despairing attitude preventing you from being taken seriously? If you want to get support or funding for an endeavour, make sure that you come across as competent. Showing enthusiasm creates a powerful brand message that says: “I am already good at this but I want to be better at what I am doing”.
   
   Making a list of characteristics or values that you want to be known for may help. Do research and find the values or characteristics that really matter to you. This will help you to create a strong brand that you can really believe in.
   
   Write it down in a format such as “I want to be known for (being innovative) so that I can (work on more exciting and challenging projects)” or “I want to be known as (a hard worker) so that I can (ensure that my family is secure at all times)”. You can also define things you want; for example, “I want to be known as an MBA graduate so that I can effectively run large organisations”. These statements represent what you are thinking and so become affirmations.
   
   They are also powerful reminders of why you are doing what you are doing. Also ask yourself whether the characteristics you want to convey will help you achieve the goals you have in mind. For example, does hard work necessarily translate into security? If you think it through, you may see that there is more than one way to achieve your goals. Once you have written down several such statements, you will be on your way to defining the key messages that you want to communicate.

The experience of the brand should exceed the expectation created by the brand promise.

Whilst having some statements that define what you want and communicating these to the world is important, your brand promise must convey the potential of the brand, most importantly, to deliver more than expected.

If you buy a product and you later find that it is not exactly what was promised, your confidence in the brand is undermined. By the same token, if you find a product that satisfies or even exceeds your expectations, you promote it to other people. This is important as it will determine people´s faith in your brand promise.

How do you get closer to being the brand that you want to project? It is going to take work to create that “wow” factor. Always ask yourself what others expect of you and then deliver more than this. A promise with no follow-through will ultimately be detrimental to your brand. Once people realise that you are simply blowing hot air with your brand promise, they will lose faith in the brand as a whole.

Make good on your promises. If, for example, you generally advocate further study as important, make sure that you practise what you preach by enrolling yourself. Acting in accordance with your brand promise allows you to start creating value. It may also point to things that you need to stop doing. Don´t, for example, waste time engaging with issues that are not important to you; rather channel that energy into what matters.

The brand remains consistent and relevant.

Brands must look at optimising the experience around emotional and functional contact points to ensure that the brand message is communicated and experienced in the desired way.

By being consistent and relevant, the brand message re-enforces itself. If you consistently produce good results, you become associated with good results. When people talk about you, you want them to highlight the good results that were produced. When people do mention negatives about you, take note and, if possible, clearly communicate what you will do to turn the situation around. Never fight against negative feedback – this will only cause people to categorise you as a “fighter”. Remember that your objective was to be associated with good results.

A brand creates an advantage that optimises the positioning of the product or service in relation to other products or services.

You are your own product or service and so you need to ensure that your product/service remains consistent and true to who you are.

When you are consistent, people can easily predict your behaviour in any given set of circumstances. Brand positioning differentiates you from others.

Visibility is not enough. You need to be seen in a positive light. When you consistently behave in a manner in line with your brand promise, you are promoting your brand. If you always stick to deadlines and achieve outcomes, you will develop a reputation for this. When it comes time to decide who to promote, your boss will choose you over rival candidates based on this reputation. Notice how consistent application of a small behaviour ultimately generates advancement. However, remember that this works in reverse as well – if you are always absent, people will remember you as such and you will be passed over in favour of a person with a better brand.

The brand leverages all applicable marketing tools and media.

Remember that brands are built in all settings. From the moment you walk out of your house, step into your car, access your Facebook page, post a tweet or update your blog, you are branding yourself. What you say, both informally and formally, impacts on your brand. Your associations with other brands (especially other people) also shape your brand statement. Being associated with brands that contradict your own brand promise will have an adverse effect on your reputation. Attach yourself to people you want to be like and reinforce your brand by moving in circles that share your interests and values.

In this digital age, it is important to manage your brand identity online very carefully as well. The same principles apply – what you say, what you are known for, and how you are using all the services out there must deliver a consistent and positive message about who you are.

Accept that you cannot be all things to all people – your Facebook friends will find you on LinkedIn. As a professional, you need a consistent identity across all platforms. You need to manage your identity and your brand message on these channels as much as anywhere else. It is also better to use these services than to shy away from them. They are a reality that you cannot ignore – you have greater control over your message if you actively communicate it on as many platforms as possible. What´s more, if you aren´t using social media in your favour, others have greater power to use them against you.

Brands protect the equity value of organisations over time.

It is much easier to make claims for your brand when you already have an established brand identity on which to lean. This is why we build brands. Your brand allows your message to be spread without you even being present. It makes you stand out in a crowd and, if it is an effective brand, allows you to be the real you. As with all things, it is important to be authentic so that you can get the most out of a brand that no one else can offer – you.

Conclusion

Personal branding is as much about the tie that you wear and the company you keep as it is about who you are on the inside. It is no use keeping your values to yourself. Expressing your true identity is important in building a strong and consistent brand that, over time, will enhance the worth of your brand.

You can create any personal brand you like but it will only benefit you if it is based on who you truly are. 

Monday Quote

Monday Quote

This week remember to just do you 😄

Hair Chronicles #TeamNatural

I have been contemplating for over a year now (see last post) on whether or not i should join the #teamnatural movement and start wearing my hair natural. Deep down I know I wanted to but was really terrified of the unknown. My biggest fear was whether or not it will suit me; will I be able to rock it without looking like a homeless person? Is my hair texture manageable in its natural state? Is natural hair high maintenance?  Does the shape of my head matter? Will it expose my overly large forehead too much? The list of questions is endless.

Well I have taken a bold step and did the unthinkable  I have crossed over. I have been transitioning for a few months now and I can tell you it’s been journey. I decided to transits because I don’t have the balls to do the big chop (have great respect for those women who are able to chop it all off). But Hair is just hair right? Wrong…. Hair is a woman’s crowing glory. I think we have been really misguided and/or our society has failed to define to us what it is to be beautiful and attractive, and the media is adding damage to our self-esteems daily by making us believe fair hair is more beautiful and acceptable. Let me not get into the politics of hair…

Any ways I was really surprised as to how much I became emotionally attached to my hair; my transition process had its ups and downs. There are times when I wanted to give up. I relapsed once, I was running out of options on what to do with my hair and I went back to the “Cream Crack” (Hair relaxer), this took me a few steps back however I have decided to get bank on the wagon.  I felt was being a sell out to my fellow #teamnatural sisters, also I was disappointed in my self for my lack of commitment (I truly am bad at committing to anything).  

Some people hatted the look on me and others loved it. I personally was torn in-between, lacked the confidence to embrace the whole look at first. But now I am loving every step of the way, I still haven’t fully gotten into the culture of things yet but I’m getting there, baby steps right? Well I soon realized that it’s really not the texture of your hair that matters or the shape of your head, it all goes down to whether or not you have the confidence to do you, be comfortable in your own skin and feel beautiful without feeling unadorned.

Ciao for now.